Dear Margo Vaughan,
I regret to inform you that your husband, Michael, will not be returning to Tasmania as planned to be reunited with you and your family.
Rest assured, this has nothing to do with his growing affection for "Heidi", the "Dutch Wife" he shares his cabin with aboard Moku pe'a. He assures me it is a casual affair that means nothing to him.
You see, I have become addicted to his skill and creativity in the galley, his sophomoric sense of humor, his eternal optimism, and good cheer. I have therefore decided to prevent his return home. I have hidden his cell phone, passport, and credit cards so he will have no choice but to remain here in paradise. Not to worry; He has comfortable accommodations at the Coconut Island Brewery.
Coconut Island Brewery
P.S. Michael has been looking at some promising real estate on the Big Island. Pack your bags.
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